The need of connection -scientists say- is an evolutionary necessity. We need to connect with others. That’s probably why, in the past we created these very large communities, to help each other raising kids and doing stuff. Today we live more separately, and those large communities are not so, especially in big cities. Several things that used to be granted by the family are now provided by the state, or by other types of communities. And of course, we are permanently connecting online. But is it enough?
What does it mean to connect nowadays? What does it mean for each of us personally? How do we feel when this evolutionary need is not met, which happens increasingly as more people live on their own? And of course, now due to the pandemic much much more. From an existential point of view, it’s like we need to draw a line somewhere, between dependence and independence, which basically can mean our belonging to a group or not. And belonging to what extent?
Our ability to be aware of these things, these contradictions -let’s say- can sometimes make it harder. We were taught that we need to be a certain way, that we need to be coherent in all aspects of life. And then suddenly we have all these internal dialogues, these mixed feelings, these rules within ourselves that we learned from our caregivers, alongside this idea of having to find an individual dream and pursue it to be happy, alongside this pressure of having to be and act as others expect as a ticket to belong.
Connecting or not connecting, was the initial question. I will add that to answer it we need to further ask ourselves: what for? When all these mixed ideas are summoned within us, we can profit from our conscious minds and start understanding their purpose. What is to connect? What does connection give me? What does connection give my community? What happens if I disconnect? What happens when others disconnect from me? And what is the purpose for me of it all?